I am a firm believer that we are all truly a by product of our environment. Childhood development is an essential part of all human beings learning positive coping skills and behaviors. When there is a divide in the development…it is like taking an axe to those learned skills and behaviors. In other words…when there is a dysfunctional family situation childhood development ceases. Personality Disorders and Mental Illness develop during this time period. If the child is not given proper treatment and therapy, it can be detrimental to their growth as an adult and essentially lead the person to a path of destruction. Some of these children are taken out of the harmful environment early enough to make a difference in their personality transition. However, others are either never given the proper support, nor do they ever seek help.
Growing up as a child in a dysfunctional family…I have first hand experience with this subject. During my youth, as well as my three other siblings, we went through some horrific trauma at young ages that has haunted all four of us into adulthood. Studies show that trauma and stress effects each and every one of us differently, and that we all respond in different ways. The research also tells us that the child will form some type of behavior or habit that makes them feel comfortable with the pain, rather than getting the proper help to heal. These habits and behaviors tend to be self-destructive.
Well, it is during these times that a person begins to equate this type of environment as being normal, since that is all the child knows. For example, if a child is physically abused constantly, there is a good chance that the child will grow up to abuse their own children. The reason for this is called “Learned Behavior.” Many of these dysfunctional settings are filled with chaos and drama. It leaves the individual in a state of hypomania. Moreover, the person begins to equate a feeling of calmness when they are involved in other chaotic situations or times of drama. In fact, when there is a period of normalcy and a lack of such chaos and drama, this person may actually be insecure and unsure of themselves. They may even develop severe anxiety. This can lead to severe anxiety disorders as well as other harmful personality traits.
So…to further explain this phenomenon, one must understand what chaos and drama are. Chaos and drama can be described as any periods of stress, negativity, repetition, nagging, demoralizing, upsetting, doom and gloom, and many other depressing activity. For example, let’s look at the past few months with all of these high profile murder cases. Murder is sad. Murder is depressing. These trials are full of drama. We had the Jodi Arias murder trial, which became big due to the sexual innuendo and the overall beauty of Jodi Arias. The drama aspect comes in where many people may feel, how can a girl that is so pretty commit a crime that is so heinous and brutal with no remorse. We also can look at all of the bad weather and such that has been occurring these past few months. We had Hurricane Sandy, the killer tornados in Oklahoma. There was the Boston Bombings. The school and movie shootings. The hunt for Osama Bin Laden. And the list can go on and on.
Well, I have been doing a ton of soul searching and there is one thing that I can definitely say is true, and others that have dealt with similar trauma can relate. The fact is…I am addicted to chaos and drama. The rise of social media and television and news has only made this addiction grow. Honestly, lately I feel like I have been obsessed with these areas. Wether it be Facebook, or HLN (Headline News), CNN, or just the local news. When I see these chaotic and dramatic situations it actually makes me feel comfortable. When I am around this sort of thing I actually feel like things are normal. This is the cycle that I must break. Actually, many people struggle with this same obsession and there are ways to combat it.
A good friend of mine made a great comment to one of my posts. He said, “Stop Feeding The Media Frenzy”. Stop feeding the media frenzy. What exactly does that mean? Well, its pretty obvious, stop watching this negative shit and letting it affect my everyday life. When bad news, or social media becomes an obsession, it can ruin you. So lately, I have been working on fixing this area of my life. I am no longer watching these programs. I am using Facebook much less than I am accustomed too. I have replaced these behaviors with positive ones like walking my dog, playing guitar, writing lyrics, even writing this blog. I am trying to feed my mind with positive thoughts and not negative shit that will only make me sick. Our culture has become a society of drama queens and kings. Drama is everywhere. I don’t think that drama will ever disappear. However, its how we handle this drama that ultimately defines whether we can heal or not. Hopefully, some of you have learned a valuable lesson from my blog. I am a work in progress everyday…we all are. We just need to stop being sucked into the chaos and drama (even though thats what we are used to) and instead focus on the positive things in life. Stay Tuned.