ADDICTED TO DRAMA

    I am a firm believer that we are all truly a by product of our environment.  Childhood development is an essential part of all human beings learning positive coping skills and behaviors.  When there is a divide in the development…it is like taking an axe to those learned skills and behaviors.  In other words…when there is a dysfunctional family situation childhood development ceases.  Personality Disorders and Mental Illness develop during this time period.  If the child is not given proper treatment and therapy, it can be detrimental to their growth as an adult and essentially lead the person to a path of destruction.  Some of these children are taken out of the harmful environment early enough to make a difference in their personality transition.  However, others are either never given the proper support, nor do they ever seek help.

     Growing up as a child in a dysfunctional family…I have first hand experience with this subject.  During my youth, as well as my three other siblings, we went through some horrific trauma at young ages that has haunted all four of us into adulthood.  Studies show that trauma and stress effects each and every one of us differently, and that we all respond in different ways.  The research also tells us that the child will form some type of behavior or habit that makes them feel comfortable with the pain, rather than getting the proper help to heal.  These habits and behaviors tend to be self-destructive.  

     Well, it is during these times that a person begins to equate this type of environment as being normal, since that is all the child knows.  For example, if a child is physically abused constantly, there is a good chance that the child will grow up to abuse their own children.  The reason for this is called “Learned Behavior.”  Many of these dysfunctional settings are filled with chaos and drama.  It leaves the individual in a state of hypomania.  Moreover, the person begins to equate a feeling of calmness when they are involved in other chaotic situations or times of drama.  In fact, when there is a period of normalcy and a lack of such chaos and drama, this person may actually be insecure and unsure of themselves.  They may even develop severe anxiety.  This can lead to severe anxiety disorders as well as other harmful personality traits.  

     So…to further explain this phenomenon, one must understand what chaos and drama are.  Chaos and drama can be described as any periods of stress, negativity, repetition, nagging, demoralizing, upsetting, doom and gloom, and many other depressing activity.  For example, let’s look at the past few months with all of these high profile murder cases.  Murder is sad.  Murder is depressing.  These trials are full of drama.  We had the Jodi Arias murder trial, which became big due to the sexual innuendo and the overall beauty of Jodi Arias.  The drama aspect comes in where many people may feel, how can a girl that is so pretty commit a crime that is so heinous and brutal with no remorse.  We also can look at all of the bad weather and such that has been occurring these past few months.  We had Hurricane Sandy, the killer tornados in Oklahoma.  There was the Boston Bombings.  The school and movie shootings.  The hunt for Osama Bin Laden.  And the list can go on and on.

     Well, I have been doing a ton of soul searching and there is one thing that I can definitely say is true, and others that have dealt with similar trauma can relate.  The fact is…I am addicted to chaos and drama.  The rise of social media and television and news has only made this addiction grow.  Honestly, lately I feel like I have been obsessed with these areas.  Wether it be Facebook, or HLN (Headline News), CNN, or just the local news.  When I see these chaotic and dramatic situations it actually makes me feel comfortable.  When I am around this sort of thing I actually feel like things are normal.  This is the cycle that I must break.  Actually, many people struggle with this same obsession and there are ways to combat it.

     A good friend of mine made a great comment to one of my posts.  He said, “Stop Feeding The Media Frenzy”.  Stop feeding the media frenzy.  What exactly does that mean?  Well, its pretty obvious, stop watching this negative shit and letting it affect my everyday life.  When bad news, or social media becomes an obsession, it can ruin you.  So lately, I have been working on fixing this area of my life.  I am no longer watching these programs.  I am using Facebook much less than I am accustomed too.  I have replaced these behaviors with positive ones like walking my dog, playing guitar, writing lyrics, even writing this blog.  I am trying to feed my mind with positive thoughts and not negative shit that will only make me sick.  Our culture has become a society of drama queens and kings.  Drama is everywhere.  I don’t think that drama will ever disappear.  However, its how we handle this drama that ultimately defines whether we can heal or not.  Hopefully, some of you have learned a valuable lesson from my blog.  I am a work in progress everyday…we all are.  We just need to stop being sucked into the chaos and drama (even though thats what we are used to) and instead focus on the positive things in life.  Stay Tuned.Image

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CRIMINAL LAWS SUCK

“An Eye For an Eye…A Tooth for a Tooth.” This saying was coined from the Code of King Hammurabi, who was the King of Babylon (1792-1750B.C). The Saying was also used in the Bible…
“Ye Have Heard it hath said, An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” (Matthew 5:38). Most people, even those that have are uneducated have heard this phrase many times. However, most people that hear it may misinterpret the true meaning. Nonetheless, it means exactly what it says. Seriously, have you ever thought deeply about the saying and how it applies in modern society. Oh yeah, that’s right, it doesn’t…At least not in the United States.

Speaking of this saying, I thought about it just the other day when I was watching CNN, and saw the Jodi Arias trial come to a conclusion… well not really. Jodi Arias was convicted of First Degree Murder for killing her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander. For those people that are not familiar with the Arias case, Jodi Arias, now 32 was just convicted for brutally murdering her ex-boyfriend. The trial, which took over five months, became a very high profile case and Jodi was made a celebrity because of it and received a ton of publicity.

Jodi was convicted for the stabbing and shooting murder of Travis Alexander in 2008. Jodi Arias and Travis had dated for a short period and then broke up. Well, Arias became obsessed with Alexander and stalked him…they still met up a few times for physical relations. After the murder, it was discovered that Arias and Alexander shared a pretty intense and over the top sexual relationship. When Jodi was arrested, she first denied the murder. Jodi was a beautiful blonde “bombshell” who would never fit the stereotype of someone who could commit murder. However, all of the evidence pointed to her guilt. Any intelligent person can see that this case became high profile for a few reasons…Jodi’s looks, the sexual escapades of her and the deceased, and the back and forth, changing stories that were thrown around by Arias.

Although Arias was found guilty by the Jury in a unanimous decision, the Jury could not give her the Death Penalty. Arias had claimed the entire time that she was mentally and physically abused by Alexander before she killed him in cold blood. The same Jury that found her guilty of the crime could not come to an agreement on the Death Penalty or Life in Prison without the possibility of parole. Now a retrial will occur with a new jury, beginning on July 18th where she can either be sentenced to Die or Go to Prison for the rest of her adult life.

This is just one of the many cases that shows how futile America’s Judicial System is today. First of all, I am totally against the Death Penalty if it is not used in the proper way. What I mean by this…is that I support the Death Penalty 100 Percent, but it must be used in the right way. The Death Penalty, otherwise known as “Capital Punishment” is a legal process where a person is convicted to die for a crime. Currently today, 58 Total Nations practice Capital Punishment…while 97 Countries have abolished it. There are currently 32 out of the 52 States in the U.S. that institute the Death Penalty.

New Jersey does not use the Death Penalty, as it was abolished in 2007. Capital Punishment is one of the most controversial topics in today’s society. I actually wrote a Thesis on the topic in College way back when, lol. But in all seriousness, the Death Penalty today is a “joke” with all of the appeals and even the way it is used, today almost all states use lethal injection, which has deadly chemicals injected into the criminal as they are put to death.

In my opinion, America’s Judicial System sucks today for many reasons. The main reason that our Criminal Code fails miserably is because it is “weak.” By weak, I mean there are too many cracks in the surface and it is so inconsistent, but mostly these codes do not do much to stop would be crimes from occurring. This could be very different if the system was revamped under the “Eye for An Eye” Method.

Lets first look at the Death Penalty. If someone knowingly commits murder in any way, besides self defense (domestic violence, abuse, law enforcement, etc.) and the person is found guilty, there should be No Life In Prison. The person should automatically be sentenced to Death, with no possibility of appeal or years of time in death row. If a criminal shoots someone, they should be shot execution style. If someone stabs another human being to death, that person should also be stabbed to death. If a person burns someone, they should be set on fire. This would go on where the penalty matches the crime. Think about it…do you not think that people would think twice of committing murder if they knew that they would automatically get death themselves. And don’t you think it would be even more effective if the criminal knew beforehand that the penalty would match the crime??

Capital Punishment, as I stated is a complete joke today. All of its layers real of weakness and focus too much on the humane side of the argument. Was the murderer humane when they committed their crime? Hell No!!!! Well, if you shoot someone in the United States you will be executed by a firing squad. For the terrorist in the Boston Bombing, you will face a bomb in a steel cell that is made up of all of the same materials that were used in your crime. For Jodi Arias, you will be hacked to death with a meat cleaver and stabbed with a knife. If you kill someone with a baseball bat, you will then be beaten to death. This list could go on and on…but I think my point was made.

Lets look at other crimes. If you steal, your hand should be chopped off. If you steal multiple times, all of your limbs should be cut off. If you beat someone and abuse them, you should be beaten and abused. If you rape someone and are convicted…you should be raped by someone in prison. How about credit fraud or identity theft, well this crime should be in the form of punishment that hurts your pockets.

Lets look at other crimes like Driving Under the Influence. First of all, if you kill someone while under the influence and are successfully convicted of manslaughter, you should automatically be sent to prison for life, without the possibility of parole. If you are arrested for a non fatal killing and are convicted of a DUI, you should lose your license for no less than 10 Years…no exceptions. Not the puny 6 months to a year that is now the current standard in the US for first time offenders. If you are found guilty of a second DUI…your license will be revoked for life. Once again, do you not think that these crimes would decrease dramatically?

The United States Crime Code is terrible. First of all it is extremely weak. Second of all, it does not strike fear into would be criminals. Also, our foreign policies suck. We always think more about other countries than ourselves. When 9/11 occurred, we should have tool out the Middle East in one shot. America will pay the price…trust me. I know this may seem like a radical opinion, however it would surely decrease crime in America. People would truly be scared and think twice about committing these crimes. I feel that the only way that our Justice Department and Judicial System will be bettered is if we take the “Eye For an Eye” approach.

I firmly believe that the “Eye For An Eye” code would help this country. There are so many reasons to be happy that we live in America where we have many rights. However, with rights comes responsibility. Also, with responsibility comes ownership. With ownership comes being held accountable. In order to be held accountable these criminals should be tried in a fair manner. The only true fair and just method is to be consistent across the board…no loopholes. I am sure that this type of action will never occur in my lifetime…but I truly believe that it would solve Americas Criminal War. Also, speaking about foreign crime and the War on Terror, if these countries are responsible for committing crimes against the United States, we should stop funding and helping immediately. Wake Up Washington…there will be a revolution if things don’t get better. The writing is on the wall.

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